I knew things would never be the same in my family after that afternoon back in '85. My dad and I were off doing something together and made our return home. We pulled into the driveway and immediately noticed that something was slightly amiss. Something looked different with his prized Olds Cutlass. The first thing that caught our eye was that the trunk was modestly ajar. Quickly thereafter, it was hard to miss the fact that there was a detached car door resting within it. Ooooh, man. This was going to be awesome. My dad didn't say a word as he stepped out of the truck and made a slow orbit of the other vehicle. Yup. The driver's side door was completely missing...well, not 'missing' as in 'lost'. It was, after all, the door that had found a new home in the trunk. I remember his jaw slacking and his brow furrowing as he looked to see if there were any other surprises. My adrenaline started to pump as he turned and slowly walked to the front door of the house. I was right at his heels; not wanting to miss a single second of the story that went along with this. As soon as the door opened, we were overwhelmed by the sound of both my mom and sister bawling their heads off. The were sitting on the couch, huddled together. And they were hysterical. Dad was a cool cowboy. His first question was to ask if they were both alright. Between the blubbering and the sobbing, it was pretty hard to make out anything at all. But we got nods to the affirmative on their health.
I thought I heard random words among the sobs...was that 'bank'? 'Brakes'? Slow down, he urged them both. Take a breath. Everyone is okay, let's not worry. That's why we have insurance. I learned a lot about the measure of the man that day.
As the story unfolded, I learned that I had stumbled upon the mythical El Dorado of little-brother gold. My sister was 15 at the time, but she had her 'temps'. Mom needed to run to the bank, and thought she'd toss the keys to my sister for a little driving practice.
Being a novice driver, my sister approached the drive-in teller with great caution. Objects appear to be closer to your mirror than they really are. She also slightly miscalculated her stopping point and went a tad too far forward. When she rolled down the window, she couldn't reach the magical flying cylinder.
She threw the car in park, opened the door, and stretched out to reach for it. In fact, she stretched so far that her foot came off the brake. And when she thought she threw it into park, she missed. What she actually did was land the transmission squarely into reverse.
Let's do a quick re-cap: Car door open; Car in reverse; Foot off brake. Okay, let's continue. Sensing that the car was rolling backward, my sister panicked and stomped her foot on the brake. Unfortunately, it was her second miscalculation in as many minutes.
By all accounts, her foot grazed the brake pedal for a second before it slid off and absolutely freakin' hammered the gas pedal. That Olds had a V-8 and could flat out haul ass. That's exactly what it did, too. Backward.
The edge of the car door caught cleanly on the automatic teller box and peeled the door straight off the chassis before either of them could even react. My mom prevented further carnage by reaching over and shifting the the car into park again.
This series of events caused quite a scene. I'll admit to having a momentary pang of empathy for my sister as she recounted the story. Surrounded by gawkers, she had to endure the humiliation of the moment as the bank manager walked out to inspect the perimeter.
He was so kind as to pick up the door and place it in the trunk for them. There was nothing more he could do. He simply made the deposit.
To this day, the part that still makes me laugh is that my mom had my sister drive home because 'her nerves were shot.' I picture them rolling through the streets of my neighborhood in a state of shock.
I'm sure most folks who happened to see them along the route home figured the rough details when the doorless car passed by. The detached door hanging out of the back end of the car...and the two women crying loudly within probably made that an easy mystery to solve.
Really, I learned a lot that day from my dad. How the health of your loved ones is paramount to any material possessions. And I am truly glad that nobody was injured, because that gave me a lifetime pass to mention this little incident every few years at family gatherings. Priceless.
Once a little brother, always a little brother.
